Reaching Out

Risking vulnerability
"As we grow, we learn to overcome the tendency to run and hide from ourselves and our feelings."
Basic Text, p. 81

Rather than risk vulnerability, many of us have developed habits that keep others at a safe distance. These patterns of emotional isolation can give us the feeling we can hopelessly locked behind our masks. We used to take risks with our lives; now we can take risks with our feelings. Through sharing with other addicts, we learn that we are not unique; we do not make ourselves unduly vulnerable simply by letting others know who we are, for we are in good company. And by working the Twelve Steps of the NA program, we grow and change. We no longer want or need to hide our emerging selves. We are offered the opportunity to shed the emotional camouflage we developed to survive our active addiction.

By opening ourselves to others, we risk becoming vulnerable, but that risk is well worth the rewards. With the help of our sponsor and other recovering addicts, we learn how to express our feelings honestly and openly. In turn, we become nourished and encouraged by the unconditional love of our companions. As we practice spiritual principles, we find strength and freedom, both in ourselves and in those around us. We are set free to be ourselves and to enjoy the company of our fellow addicts.

Just for today: I shall openly and honestly share with another recovering addicts. I shall risk becoming vulnerable and celebrate my self and my friendship with other NA members. I shall grow.

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I read on Vicarious Rising's Do you like me? Do you really, really like me? recently and it got me thinking. A feeling like my good friend, Meg Moran felt when she was about to meet another recovery blogger. A friend that she only knew/met on the Blogoshere. These was how she described it on Friends FUR-EVER. post.

One of the best parts about blogging (for me) is that I have met some people in the cyber-community that I feel just might be friends forever. Maybe it is because we express ourselves primarily in writing, or maybe it is because many of us work a 12 step program, but whatever the reason, sometimes the communication between us is “richer”, more “heartfelt”. As I was on my way to pick her up I wondered if it would be that way in person, or would it be somehow awkward? Well, what I learned is a friend, is a friend, is a friend. I’ve never even seen her picture but I spotted her immediately when she came out of the hotel. That was my friend.

From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thanks all my Recovery Friends listed on My Sacred Links for helping me out when I needed help. I know we have never met and you all only knew me in these wonderful world of Blogosphere, but you have never let me down when I was reaching out for you. As Meg said, what I learned is a friend, is a friend, is a friend.

There are several reasons why I wrote/sent that email asking for your help. I know I'm not a good blogger or a good writer like most of you out there. I'm sorry if by sending you that email, I have misused your trust by spamming your email boxes, even though I have your email addresses! So, I would like to ask again, please, please do tell me if you don't want to receive anything from me ever again.

Not so long ago, I received a request from someone not to send him/her any messages or emails anymore (not from someone listed on My Sacred Links) and I obliged his/her request. Sometime I can be too self-centered by thinking you would be trilled to receive an email from me. It happened to a friend of mine who sent to about 300 who he thought were his friends to answer a question he was conducting on his blog. One of the recipient asked him who gave him the right to spam their emails even though he has their email addresses?

I'm not someone special who can afford to change my blog's address every other week. There are some bloggers who can afford to do just that and still have readers coming to read their post without even promoting their new blog's address! If I were to do that, say like starting a new blog with addresses like ArahMan8, nine or ten, I don't think I would have any readers coming. I would have to start all over again, collecting email addresses and write to every WebMaster or BlogMaster begging them if they are willing to link with a nobody from Malaysia?

And I'm glad to find you wonderful folks who have willingly accepted me to join your awesome community knowing full well that I was despised as an outcast by my own countrymen/women just because I am an addict! As an addict to be accepted again by someone, anyone, is a great accomplishment. I'm really, really grateful to be in your community. From the bottom of my heart, I thanks you all.

As you have noticed, I'm doing a bit, I'm learning actually, to do Internet Marketing. This is the only way that I can think of to earn a few extra dollars to support myself. I can't always depended on my beloved wife. She has always works hard for the money. And I've not actually run my own company. I know it ain't much but a dollar is a dollar.

That's why I have to promote myself, nominated myself, even voted myself so that people knows about My Journey To Recovery's blog. I love Meg's comment on Judith's Vicarious Rising. She said, Serenity Prayer= The courage to change the things that I can. Sometimes this means speaking it out to the Universe.

There exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful. BB pg 17

Recovery Model With Sarung


Recovery model with sarung

Like this pic? Wanna see more? Wanna see how recovery people having fun with their pics? Head over hAAlf nAAked Thursday now. You won't regret it. I can guarantee you that!


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4 Comments thus far...

Michael said...

Noor, you can send me as many emails as you like, I am not proud, as you can see by my comments I have hardly got any friends anyway and feel a bit of a outcast in the blog community.
Is this resentment?

Michael said...

Yes Noor, I am feeling a lot better today and I am looking forward to a week away from the Lost World. When I go on Holiday I am always at my most vulnerable towards slips back to drinking, you let down your guard dont you.
Anyway Noor Ill see u in a week and thanks for being a good friend

vicariousrising said...

Hiya Noor. I hope you didn't think what I wrote on my blog was a criticism towards you in any way. You are welcome to email me any time. And I voted for your blog because I truly enjoy reading your blog. So, I apologize if something I wrote made you feel badly. I am worried that I perhaps did.

I think it is great that you are comfortable with self-promotion (or at least more-so than I am). I was following your example because it is something I feel I need to cultivate in myself.

And I too adore what Meg wrote. She does have a gift for saying the right thing. And I love the acceptance I have found in the blogosphere. I just wanted to chime in here to make sure I didn't offend you in some way.

Best wishes to you,
Judith

Kari Sullivan said...

Noor,
I am grateful to have you a part of my online recovery fellowship. Believe me, I need all the help I can get right now. And I like having friends in different parts of the world. If there is one thing I need right now, it's a variety of new perspectives.

Peace out!
Kari

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I loves to receive comments from everybody and I tried to make everything easier for my readers to comments. So please, be nice even though you totally disagree with me. No comment moderation and whatnot here. Please respect the privileges given.

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~ ArahMan7

PS - Word verification has been enable. Sorry about that [Sept 3rd, 2013].





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Hi! This is a personal recovery blog. Everything I posts here are from my twisted addicted mind and/or just plain poorly written. If something around here belongs to you and you're one of those people who hates free PR, drop me a line and I'll pull it down or credit you in large bold letters with every "T" crossed and every "i" dotted with a heart - Honest! And also I have very, very few assets, so it's probably not worth your time to go the lawyer route. Thanks.

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