Better Man


While Googling and Yahooing for an article for this post, I came across this article written by a dynamic duo, Azura Abas and David Yeow. Both of them are reporters with New Straits Times, our daily English newspaper. If you still remember, this the same newspaper that got involved in a court case with some blogger. To satisfy your curiosity, you can read about it here and here. Please, this not a political blog. I don't give a damn about it but I don't wanna get sue either!

I'm walking on a thin line here, so please no comment about politic, religion or anything that can harm you. Especially me, an addict, a nobody, the pariah, the scum of the earth. So think before you leave a comment or two. I'm borrowing Jeff Ooi disclaimer. Read it here and here.
Updates: I'm not setting an example here. I am not an addict, a nobody, the pariah or the scum of the earth, anymore. I know it is expected of me but I am not gonna demean myself anymore! Anybody have any audio problem with the 'Better Man'?

I'm interested about the price of Methadone. A friend told me the average price for a 60 ml bottle are around RM30.00 but please bear in mind, that 60 ml bottle don't contain Methadone alone. Methadone consist between 5 to 10 ml only. The rest are some sort of syrup. So, if anybody on Methadone treatment who feel that their doctors are charging them a high price, they can report about it to the Malaysian Medical Council. Hopefully, they will accept your report. As for me, I give them a double winks!

That's all for me. I hope you enjoy the double articles coz I wanna be a BETTER MAN.

This is my entry on hAAlf nAAked THURSDAY. and it is called;

Jalak and Companion Having A Ball!

The Rooster Keeper of The De la Casa Fabuloso Noor Azmano treat their chick(en) well. Very well indeed that they're welcome inside da house for their meals but never breakfast in bed! Not yet, anyway. But anything can happen at De la Casa Fabuloso Noor Azmano!

Jalak and Companion Having A Ball in da House

To see more pics of my friends having a ball every Thursday, click HERE or on the photo itself.


YOUR HEALTH: Hope for heroin addicts

11 Mar 2007

A cheaper treatment is available to wean the addict off the drug, write AZURA ABAS and DAVID YEOW
THE use of methadone to wean addicts off drugs has seen high success rates — up to nearly 90 per cent in the case of heroin addiction.

However, many are still sceptical of its effectiveness as they feel it is wrong to replace a drug with another. "It is just like treating diabetics who need their daily dose of medication to control their disease," said Prof Dr Rusli Ismail from the Institute for Research in Molecular Medicine, Universiti Sains Malaysia. Methadone, he explained, would reduce the craving for addictive substances and was effective in eliminating withdrawal symptoms such as abdominal cramps, diarrhoea, sleeping difficulty, restlessness and joint pains.

This was done without the euphoric effect on the methadone users, he said. While there was no single effective treatment for the management of opioid dependence, Dr Rusli said methadone treatment had repeatedly been documented as the single most effective treatment for heroin addiction. He described methadone as a normalising medication and not simply a substitute for heroin. "Instead of destabilising the individual as heroin does, methadone stabilises the patient and facilitates a return to productive functioning," he said at a recent briefing to dispel the misconception about methadone.

Putting drug addicts on methadone, he said, would be an effective exercise to check the practice of needle sharing among drug users. "Needle sharing is the main cause of HIV infection among Malaysians. The price we have to pay later will be astronomical. "If two million of the population suffer from HIV, we have to spend billions on medication alone." Present at the briefing were Malaysian Psychiatric Association president Professor Dr Mohamad Hussain Habil, Malaysia Insaf Murni Association vice-president Dr Mohd Khafidz Mohd Ishak and general practitioner Dr Musa Jantan. On claims that some doctors were charging addicts high fees for methadone treatment , Dr Mohamad Hussain said the victims should report them to the Malaysian Medical Council.

"So far, we have not received any report on such claim," he said. Dr Musa said at his clinic in Malacca, he would reduce the treatment price in stages as an incentive for drug addicts in the programme who had shown positive development like putting on weight and consistently turning up for consultation.

Dr Khafiz said he offered free consultation to the drug addicts. "Taking methadone is cheaper than trying to support one’s heroin habit. The price of a packet of heroin is about RM90 in Kajang, and RM120 in Kuala Lumpur. "If you are on methadone, you only have to pay between RM15 and RM25 per day," he said.

Dr Mohamad Hussain added that it was cheaper to undergo the methadone treatment in which one only had to spend about RM400 a month compared with the monthly bill of about RM3,000 per head to treat drug addicts at rehabilitation centres.


Beating the addiction and staying ahead WHEN Salema, 38, tried heroin for the first time, it was not out of curiosity or vice. It was out of love. "During the first eight years of my marriage, my husband and I barely spoke. He was an addict and he spent most of his time high in his room," she said. Wanting to rekindle the romance, Salema decided to join her husband in his habit. From then on, everything changed. Initially, everything seemed better than perfect. Her relationship with her husband rocketed to an all time high.

Even her work performance improved. "With drugs, I was always energetic, never needing to take breaks. I was even named the best employee of Public Finance that year," Salema said. However, Salema confessed that as her world looked perfect on the outside, she was slowly dying on the inside. Her dependency on heroin grew and soon she began to chase after other drugs. "My big plunge came when my husband was arrested in 1998. All the while I was using his stash but suddenly I had to buy my own. I had become an active user."

Salema’s life started to crumble as her drug habit depleted her savings and started to eat into other parts of her life. She suffered tremendous weight loss and was no longer cheerful or energetic. When people noticed the change, she lied that it was due to her husband being in prison. "The truth was that I could not care less about anything else except getting high. I was at a point where I needed a fix every four hours," she said.

Her addiction devolved to the point where it was no longer about getting high but survival. "My bones felt like breaking, my head felt like bursting and I literally felt my life being drained out of me every time my craving came. I had to get my fix just to stop the agony," said Salema.

After being in and out of prison five times in two years, Salema knew that conventional rehabilitation was useless for her. Concerned family members introduced her to all forms of treatment, modern and traditional, but all failed.

"I was even strapped on to a straight-jacket to help me go cold turkey and fed strong medication afterwards. But still my addiction remained. "One day my parents read about methadone and decided to give it a try. "I was sceptical at first because the treatment seemed so mild compared to the other ones I had been through," she said.

Hours after her first dosage, Salema felt different. Not only was she not craving for drugs, her body did not feel like dying as well. For the first time in 10 years, Salema felt alive. After two weeks of methadone treatment, Salema started to gain weight.

Having remarried now, her second husband (also a drug addict then) started to notice a change. "At first, I thought it was a hoax. I did not believe that by drinking a cough mixture look-a-like, I would be addiction free for three days," said Mohd Shaz, 39.

"I had previously been on drugs for 15 years. Based on my own experiences, methadone seemed like foolishness," he said. Shaz was so convinced by his first treatment that he could not wait to return for his second dose in hopes that it would rid him of his addiction forever.

"It works. All I know is that before methadone I was barely surviving but today I feel so alive," said Shaz, who now works as a lorry driver. "Today I can start earning an honest living again and rejoin society as a fully functional human being." Salema, too, has rejoined the work force and now earns a living as a tuition teacher for primary school kids. Another subscriber to the methadone treatment is Faizal, a 55-year-old college lecturer.

"I felt like such a hypocrite, being an educator and yet needing to call for five minute breaks to have a fix when teaching," he said. Faizal was once a famous math teacher, having his own show on TV Pendidikan.

He attributed his drug habit to mixing with bad friends during his days at Universiti Sains Malaysia. "I have been bound by addiction for 35 years. I hated not being in control and in bondage to drugs but still I could not control myself," said Faizal.

It was only in November 2006 that Faizal started his methadone treatment and according to him, life has been better ever since. "All this while I have been carrying a facade of respect but hopefully through methadone, I can regain my self respect one day."

Copied and pasted from
New Straits Times - Malaysia News Online.


Robbie Williams Lyrics
Better Man

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

Better Man
By Robbie Williams

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15 Comments thus far...

Meg Moran said...

Beuatiful lyrics to that song

recoveryroad said...

Hello from London!

Thanks for your kind words at my place.

I hope you are well today, amigo.


dAAve said...

Never call yourself a nobody - or the scum of the Earth - or a pariah.
This does not make you feel good about yourself and does not set a good example for others.

I like the pic!!

Shannon said...

Yea I agree with daave... I think you are somebody wonderful! thanks for always sharing so honestly.
Hope your evening is going well.

Michael said...
thats the link its a great book Noor, ill read your post now

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

"I am not an addict, a nobody, the pariah or the scum of the earth, anymore. I know it is expected of me but I am not gonna demean myself anymore! "

Thank GOD for that!

"We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. As God’s people we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before ANYONE."

Anonymous said...

Well done, Noor Azman. I am very proud to call you my brother.
P.S. Cannot play the song ;-(

Shadow said...

amazing lyrics, thanks!

vicariousrising said...

You are definitely someone I admire quite a lot, Noor. Not a nobody, that's for sure. I feel like I've learned a ton from you in the short amount of time I've known you, just by your being you.

I love your chickens! Casa de Noor Azman sounds like fun.

sharonsjourney said...

Hi Noor, I've gotten even more comments on my blog thanks to you. I know what you mean about feeling like the scum of the earth. I once felt that way. When I first came into AA, I had so much shame & remorse about what I had become, & alot about hurting those who loved me. I aged my mom 10 yrs., my sister put on 100 lbs. worrying about me. I still have a hard time forgiving myself. But I'm not scum of the earth anymore, I'm actually starting to like myself, I'm not at the love stage yet, but I am looking out for myself better. I don't demean myself like I used to, & I don't let others. Sounds like you have a good solid recovery, & you're sticking to it, good for you. I'm one of your supporters. Thank you for your kindness.

Michael said...

Hi Noor,
The withdrawal from heroine sounds like a nightmare, I am on my 7th day now without a ciggy soon hopefully I will only be on the citalopram anti depressant and well I cant see myself coming off that in the near future.
I am told its only a mils adp anyway.
Have u ordered a copy of Celestine Prophesy and are u interested in joining a get rich quick scheme?

lushgurl said...

Hey Noor, you are definately NOT the negative things you said about yourself, and I refuse to give them any air time!!!
You have such a beautiful, caring soul, you constantly reach out to others (like me) and send us to those who are still suffering. You are clean and sober today. You have an awsome sense of (crazy) could anyone NOT love you?
You are in my prayers too, Noor, and as always, BIG HUGS

Scott W said...

I don't have an email address for you, so I am leaving it here instead. Your wife is nagging you for a brochure? For the table? It was custom made, it is 6' diameter and the cost is great. We can make you one and have it shipped, but you would probably make out easier finding someone there to manufacture. Email me if you want. My email address is in my profile.

Redhead Gal said...

Hi Noor. I'm glad that you decided not to call yourself names. The name "Noor" means light, doesn't it? So how could you be bad with Light as your name?

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

Thanks for the kind comments at my place.
while i remember, you know to this day, I am REALLY learning that I AM OK. So trust me!!! This ? feeling or thought that you hav that tells you, you are no good? IT IS BULLSHIT.
You just have to trust me on that one! As it can (sometimes) take a while to 'sink in'. But when it DOES, you'll get MAD at yourself for 'wasting' all thhose years BELEIVING that you were a 'second class citizen'. You are NOT. Even if you CANNOT see that at ALL right now. It'll come. In God's time..

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Since May 28th, 2008.