Stages of Change

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I've got a problem. A big problem for a Recovery Addict like me in Malaysia. Even since I joined NA back in the year 2000, I've been using these introduction; "My name is Noor Azman Bin Othman. I'm a drug addict". It's ok between ourselves but to the public, it created havoc!. I can literally see walls been erected surrounding the person I'm talking to. A great big wall around them, blocking my view!

They stopped talking to me. Latest incident, I received an e-mail from a woman from Kelang, Selangor, complimenting about my blog and all that jive! When I told her who I am, I received NO more e-mail from her, till now. That's how they treat an addict in Malaysia. Once an addict, you'll always be an addict! We've a saying here which goes like this; "Once a dog always a dog. He may not eat shit, but he'll smell it!"

I would like to thank everybody who gave comments on my previous post especially to Gwen and X-Tina for their expert opinions about my blog. Maybe I shall take off some of the ads in my blog. Thank you again for helping a computer illiterate like me. I'm grateful for your friendship and all my Recovery Friends listed in My Sacred Links. I've never felt alone whenever I'm around with you all. Alas, I'm all alone in my own country!

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Here's an oldie, reggae version by Mr. Slow Hand, Eric Clapton. I hope you like the song and article as much as I enjoyed 'em. "Selamat bercuti", enjoy your vacation in English to JJ who is now in Las Vegas.

" Bob Dylan from Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid, the soundtrack of the 1973 film of the same name. The song consists of four chords in the key of G major: G, D, Am, and C. The basic pattern througout the song is G-D-Am-Am and then G-D-C-C, and this is repeated. Variations have been done of this, such as the Guns N' Roses version in which everything is down a half step.

Although it was originally recorded as a slow acoustic country song, "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" has been covered in many tempos and styles, by many artists, including The Grateful Dead, Bob Marley, Mark Knopfler, Eric Clapton, Roger Waters, The Sisters of Mercy, Seether, Cold Chisel, U2, Guns N' Roses (which reached #2 in the UK Singles Chart), Television, Avril Lavigne, Warren Zevon, Daniel Lioneye, Bon Jovi, Randy Crawford, Beau Jocques, Lachfläsh, Selig and Zé Ramalho Brazil.

Even, in 1976 British punk Rock band, Siouxsie and the Banshees, peformed the song at the 100 Club Punk Festival.

Info copied and pasted from Wikipedia.

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Stages of Change

1) PRECONTEMPLATION STAGE

"IT ISN'T THAT WE CAN'T SEE THE SOLUTION. IT IS THAT WE CAN'T SEE THE PROBLEM"
Precontemplators usually show up in therapy because of pressures from others… spouses, employers, parents, and courts… Resist change. When their problem comes up, they change the topic of conversation. They place responsibility for their problems on factors such as genetic makeup, addition, family, society, destiny, the police, etc.

They feel the situation is HOPELESS.

2) CONTEMPLATION STAGE

"I WANT TO STOP FEELING SO STUCK"
Contemplators acknowledge that they have a problem and begin to think about solving it.
Contemplators struggle to understand their problems, to see its causes, and wonder about possible solutions. Many contemplators have indefinite plans to take action within the next few months.

"YOU KNOW YOUR DESTINATION, AND EVEN HOW TO GET THERE, BUT YOU ARE NOT READY TO GO YET"

It is not uncommon for contemplators to tell themselves that some day they are going to change. When contemplators transition to the preparation stage of change, their thinking is clearly marked by two changes. First, they begin to think more about the future than the past.

The end of contemplation stage is a time of ANTICIPATION, ACTIVITY, ANXIETY, and EXCITEMENT.

3) PREPARATION STAGE

Most people in the preparation stage are planning to take action and are making the final adjustments before they begin to change their behavior. Have not yet resolved their AMBIVALENCE. Still need a little convincing.

4) ACTION STAGE

Stage where people overtly modify their behavior and their surroundings. Make the move for which they have been preparing. Requires the greatest commitment of time and energy.

CHANGE IS MORE VISIBLE TO OTHERS.

5) MAINTENANCE STAGE

Change never ends with action. Without a strong commitment to maintenance, there will surely be relapse, usually to precontemplation or contemplation stage.

MOST SUCCESSFUL SELF-CHANGERS GO THROUGH THE STAGES THREE OR FOUR TIMES BEFORE THEY MAKE IT THROUGH THE CYCLE OF CHANGE WITHOUT AT LEAST ONE SLIP. MOST WILL RETURN TO THE CONTEMPLATION STAGE OF CHANGE. SLIPS GIVE US THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN.


Article taken from SmartRecovery.

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Eric Clapton, Knockin' On Heaven's Door's lyric

By bob dylan

Ma, take this badge off of me.

I cant use it any more.

Its getting dark, too dark to see.

Feel like Im knockin on heavens door.

Knock, knock, knockin on heavens door.Knock, knock, knockin on heavens door.

Knock, knock, knockin on heavens door.

Knock, knock, knockin on heavens door.

Ma, take these guns away from me.

I cant shoot them any more.

There's a long black cloud following me.

Feel like Im knockin on heavens door.

Chorus

First verse

Chorus

Courtesy of LyricsFreak.






Knockin' On Heaven's Door
By Eric Clapton
BestAudioCodes.com


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16 Comments thus far...

flowerdave said...

Hi Noor, sorry you run into all that grief over there. Its the same here. some people are just ignorant to the plight of an addict or alcoholic. it aint their fault , they are just uneducated. its our job to educate them. which by the looks of your website you are doing a fine job at it .most of the people that i spend time with know what we are dealing with and are supportive. ocasionally someone comes along and make some disgusting remark about us. I tell them like it is and either they accept it or dont. either way i've done my part. sorry to ramble on. peace brother
FD

Gwen said...

Great article Noor, thank you for posting it~

Grace said...

That Smartrecovery cycle is interesting, I can see how I have moved through those cycles but also see a definite shift in where I am now.

I looked at your code but couldnt see the problem making text red. I think there must be a html tag missing somewhere. It might be better to keep a copy of your code, put a fresh template on and then put your extras and adverts back in. Just a suggestion!

lushgurl said...

Hey Noor glad to meet another in recovery...but concerned that you read my blog THREE times??? LOL
Keep coming back my friend... Just remember, wherever you are YOU ARE NEVER ALONE We are all together in our journey!

SoberSteve said...

You are Never alone anymore. This is one big family. Keep coming back, it works if you work it.

Peace
Steve

Michael said...

Hi Noor,
Just love that song "Knocking On Heavens Door", the one by Guns and Roses was my favourite version though.
Thanks for the advise for my date on Thursday, and surprisingly its still on though maybe I should of told her I smoked earlier.
Great reading your new blog entry, u may be alone in your country but in the blogosphere you have loads of friends!

Michael said...

Do u think i might of used up everything there is to talk about, I might just cancel and have done with it, I am so nervous its making me feel ill

Scott W said...

Greetings from Texas.

SCoUt said...

Hello, Noor Azman!! Thank you for all the kind words on my blog. I always like to hear from you.
Remember the N.A. way means -- (n)ever (a)lone, (n)ever (a)gain with N.A.
I am sorry you are feeling lonely -- you definitely not alone!
We are all here cheering for you and are right beside you in spirit.
Peace,
Scout

Sober Chick said...

Hey Scout, that is really cool, I did not know this.

I am sorry to hear about others reactions to your courage and honesty. I have experienced this gently -- when it comes to telling someone that asks me about the scars (from cutting) they see that may be visible. I see fear in their eyes, but their reaction is not mine to own. I am healing, and will keep doing what I am doing to heal.

You are making a dent in your environment, soon others will follow as you are doing what your heart tells you to do.

Sober Chick said...

Hey Scout, that is really cool, I did not know this.

I am sorry to hear about others reactions to your courage and honesty. I have experienced this gently -- when it comes to telling someone that asks me about the scars (from cutting) they see that may be visible. I see fear in their eyes, but their reaction is not mine to own. I am healing, and will keep doing what I am doing to heal.

You are making a dent in your environment, soon others will follow as you are doing what your heart tells you to do.

Sober Chick said...

Hey Scout, that is really cool, I did not know this.

I am sorry to hear about others reactions to your courage and honesty. I have experienced this gently -- when it comes to telling someone that asks me about the scars (from cutting) they see that may be visible. I see fear in their eyes, but their reaction is not mine to own. I am healing, and will keep doing what I am doing to heal.

You are making a dent in your environment, soon others will follow as you are doing what your heart tells you to do.

Meg Moran said...

Your truth is for you alone to understand. They are ignorant. I am grateful for this program and the changes in my life. I hope someday people in your country will see the same is available to them. You are not the only addict there. Just the only HONEST one willing to talk about recovery. Your reward will come.

Michael said...

Hi Noor, so I have bought myself some more time and come out smelling of roses, fridge to the eskimos no problem.
Thanks for your posts and looking forward to your next entry

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

I do not broadcast my alcoholic status to anyone except aa people. I do not expect people to understand who are not in recovery. I have even taken alcoholic co workers to aa meetings without breaking my anonymity. funny! don't know how i managed to pull that one off! Basically its wrong to expect non meeting types to understand recovery. Much better to say you have taken drugs in the past, but that you MUCH prefer NOT to now, and yes, you DID find it helpful to attend some 12 step meetings, which you actually quite enjoy now, and yes I try to get to them every now and again, as you think you learn something new each time you go. In my opinion, (!) thats a much GENTLER way of communicating your position to a non-alcoholic. Being blunt just doesn't work very well socially. It's the WAY you phrase things, thats important. It makes all the difference! Don't launch into drug confessions in the first breath! Bring it up later in a moderate, relaxed way. Revealing too much at the off is a little intense and puts people off. well thats what I've found anyway. hope that sheds some light on your predicament!

cikgu azleen said...

hello mohd noor...

so are you still a drug addict?? Or in the recovery process? Just curious.. but your blog is great..

TQ for visiting my blog - www.jamuonline.com

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