Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word


An Irish Friend of Bill has left a new comment on your post "Stages of Change":

"I do not broadcast my alcoholic status to anyone except aa people. I do not expect people to understand who are not in recovery. I have even taken alcoholic co workers to aa meetings without breaking my anonymity. funny! don't know how i managed to pull that one off! Basically its wrong to expect non meeting types to understand recovery. Much better to say you have taken drugs in the past, but that you MUCH prefer NOT to now, and yes, you DID find it helpful to attend some 12 step meetings, which you actually quite enjoy now, and yes I try to get to them every now and again, as you think you learn something new each time you go. In my opinion, (!) thats a much GENTLER way of communicating your position to a non-alcoholic. Being blunt just doesn't work very well socially. It's the WAY you phrase things, thats important. It makes all the difference! Don't launch into drug confessions in the first breath! Bring it up later in a moderate, relaxed way. Revealing too much at the off is a little intense and puts people off. well thats what I've found anyway. hope that sheds some light on your predicament!"

When I read the above comment from An Irish Friend of Bill, I felt that I've been electrified, jogging back my memory. I've got it all wrong. I should have never launch into drug confessions in the first breath to non-AA. Thank you my friend, for shedding some light on my predicament.

My friend is a very wise woman and she got 20 years of clean and sober living in her belt. I've still got a lot to learn and I hope she will teach me a thing or two about living without drugs.

This Elton John's song played a magnificent role when I was dating my present wife. I was just about to start on My Journey To Recovery when I met her. During the early stages of my recovery, I've no confident at all. Being an addict is the worst thing that can happen to you, in Malaysia. And she being an officer with Internal Affairs who was responsible of my drugs charges. So I said to her, what do I have to do to make you love me and so forth when I fall head over heels in love with her.

The rest as they say, is history. So now, I present you this song to share with you the magical moments of loving somebody special. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Below is another great story by my good friend, Rohizah Mohd Ali.


$20 Story

Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by

holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked,

"Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you

but first, let me do this".

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?"

And he dropped it on the ground

and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty.

"Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson.

No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it

because it did not decrease in value.

It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives,

we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt

by the decisions we make and

the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless.

But no matter what has happened or

what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased,

you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know,


You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

If you do not pass this on, you may never know the

lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to,

or the hope that it can bring.

Count your blessings, not your problems.

And remember: "Amateurs built the ark ..

professionals built the Titanic".

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.


What is a Twelve-Step Program?

A twelve-step program is a self-help, or support, group made up of people who share the same addiction or compulsion. The first and most popular of these programs is Alcoholics Anonymous, but there are twelve-step programs for many other addictions such as narcotics, gambling, overeating or nicotine.

Twelve-steppers usually meet once a week in a church or school all-purpose room or other public area. In these meetings, members commonly discuss what led them down the path to their addiction and what made them seek help. Members of the program will support those who are in trouble and applaud those who are victorious. Many of these meeting open with a prayer. The rest of the meeting will include personal stories of different members of the program.

The "twelve-steps" refer to the steps a recovering addict must take to overcome his addiction as part of this program. The first step is to admit one has a problem. While the steps may be different for each addiction or compulsion, the idea is the same. Besides admitting one's addiction, members also have to own up to their past mistakes and make any necessary amends. This may mean apologizing to anyone the addict has hurt in the past.

Most twelve-step programs, most famously Alcoholics Anonymous, are spiritual in nature. Although God is mentioned often in the twelve steps, they are not considered religious programs. Members are required, however, to seek help from a higher power and atone for their sins. This isn't always the case though. Because there are now so many different addiction and compulsion recovery programs, there are different steps for each and some are not considered spiritual or religious.

In addition to encouraging an addict to admit problems and make amends, twelve-step programs also encourage members to regain control of their lives and offer solutions and emotional support so they will avoid future temptation. Twelve-step programs aren't considered rehabilitation. Instead they are considered "recovery" programs, as in recovering one's life.

Copied and pasted from WiseGeek.


Sorry Seem To Be The Hardest Word Lyrics
by Elton John

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

Lyrics courtesy of LyricsDomain.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
By Elton John

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12 Comments thus far...

mAAry-AAnne said...

Its always interesting to see which lyrics make their way onto your blog. Not a huge E.J. fan myself, but can appreciate his talent nonetheless.

Lex-Sunshine said...

Love those words of wisdom! I get so comfortable just sharing about my recovery I forget that my open-ness care scare those non-alcoholics just about to pieces! : ) Thanks for the reminder!

cikgu azleen said...

so romantic - the way you propose to your wife.. hehehehe..

Peter Chen said...

Hi Noor Azman,

Thanks again for leaving a comment and your appreciation in my post Why I changed the Header. Regarding you writing about me, and especially if you put a link to my blog/blogs, that would be highly appreciated. Also, like to let you know I responded to your second comment.

Blogger for Dummies
Blogger Tips and Tricks
Dummies Guide to Google Blogger
Testing Blogger Beta (now New Blogger)

Anonymous said...

"If you do not pass this on, you may never know the
lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to,
or the hope that it can bring"

people want to help you and they do but you must do most of the work yourself. You find that you cannot escape the reality of loss. Rather you must, for a period..soak it, swim in it..absorb it even all of this you must survive..Insya-Allah

lushgurl said...

Hey Noor, good to hear from you again...I loved this post, especially the EJ song. It is so true that it is difficult to accept responsibility for the mistakes we have made. I'm sorry, at times seems empty, meaningless.

Today I am grateful that when I do something wrong and say I am sorry I can back up my words with changes...

Mary Christine said...

I thank God that people were willing to risk their own pride to share with me their own recovery from this awful disease. What if no one told anyone they were alcoholic? No one would ever be helped. This is how we help each other.

lash505 said...

Dude, never think anyone has got it right on these blogs. The only direction I get is from my sponsor. Thats the way the program works. I never take some dumb ass opinion, especially when they say they have 20 + years. As you know bro, we only have today.

Rex said...

Great post...thanks for sharing with us and love the song too!

Inmatez Wife said...

Wonderful post. I think if there was more acceptance of people and their addictions, or more recognition of the fact that it is a disease, the world would be a better place.

Meg Moran said...

Our Irish Friend has helped me enormously thank you for shring her wisdom.

Michael said...

Hi Noor, lots of wise words on a brand new eagerly waited post, I particularily enjoyed the $20 story.
Do u think its possible to fall in love with someone you never met but only talked to by phone and instant message?
I just cant stop thinking of Squeaky Door, I guess it could be the fact that I have wasted a decade of my life drunk and out of it and now I want a companion like yesterday!

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