Relapse Signs And Symptoms

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All my wife's brothers and sisters are back home during the weekend. All the Bigshots in business, including the doctor and the expatriate from London are home to visit their mother. I felt so small, I wish I could just disappeared. The only escapism available, is to turn to my computer and my recovery friends. Thank you Motocycle Mike, Shadow, X-Tina, DryBlog, tkd junkie, Gwen, lostboy Steve, JJ, Scout, Scott W, Carly, the gang at half-nAAked Thursday, William,and the rest who I knew will always stand by me, for being a wonderful friends.

These words keep turning up in my mind, "We should constantly be encouraged, affirmative, and participate only the best to unfold as we reside within the integrity developed through our thorough loyalty to remain clean and sober."


Experiencing Post Acute Withdrawal:

I start having problems with one or more of the following; thinking difficulties, emotional overreaction problems, sleep disturbances, memory difficulties, becoming accident prone, and/or starting to experience a serious sensitivity to stress.

Return To Denial:

I stop telling others what I’m thinking/feeling and start trying to convince myself or others that everything is all right, when in fact it is not.

Avoidance And Defensive Behavior:

I start avoiding people who will give me honest feedback and/or I start becoming irritable and angry with them.

Starting To Crisis Build:

I start to notice that ordinary everyday problems become overwhelming and no matter how hard I try, I can’t solve my problems.

Feeling Immobilized (Stuck):

I start believing that there is nowhere to turn and no way to solve my problems. I feel trapped and start to use magical thinking.

Becoming Depressed:

I start feeling down-in-the dumps and have very low energy. I may even become so depressed that I start thinking of suicide.

Compulsive And/Or Impulsive Behaviors (Loss Of Control):

I start using one or more of the following- food, sex, caffeine, nicotine, work, gambling, etc. often in an out of control fashion. And/or I may react without thinking of the consequences of my behavior on myself and others.

Urges And Cravings (Thinking About Drinking/Using):

I begin to think that alcohol/drug use is the only way to feel better. I start thinking about justifications to drink/use and convince myself that using is the logical thing to do.

Chemical Loss Of Control (Drinking/Using):

I find myself drinking/using again to solve my problems. I start to believe that “it’s all over ‘till I hit bottom, so I may as well enjoy this relapse while it’s good.” My problems continue to get worse.

Adapted from Terence T. Gorski's Warning Sign Identification Process


THE TEN MOST COMMON RELAPSE DANGERS

1. Being in the presence of drugs or alcohol, drug or alcohol users, or places where you used or bought chemicals.

2. Feelings we perceive as negative, particularly anger; also sadness, loneliness, guilt, fear, and anxiety.

3. Positive feelings that make you want to celebrate.

4. Boredom.

5. Getting high on any drug.

6. Physical pain.

7. Listening to war stories and just dwelling on getting high.

8. Suddenly having a lot of cash.

9. Using prescription drugs that can get you high even if you use them properly.

10. Believing that you no longer have to worry (complacent). That is, that you are no longer stimulated to crave drugs/alcohol by any of the above situations, or by anything else – and therefore maybe it’s safe for you to use occasionally.


RELAPSE ATTITUDES

SOBRIETY IS BORING

I’LL NEVER DRINK/USE AGAINI CAN DO IT MYSELF

I’M NOT AS BAD AS …..I OWE THIS ONE TO ME

MY PROBLEMS CAN’T BE SOLVED

I WISH I WAS HAPPY

I DON’T CARE

IF NOBODY ELSE CARES, WHY SHOULD I?

THINGS HAVE CHANGED

I CAN SUBSTITUTE

THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT

THERE’S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY

I CAN’T CHANGE THE WAY I THINK

IF I MOVE, EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE

I LIKE MY OLD FRIENDS

I CAN DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY

NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW HOW I FEEL

I’M DEPRESSED

I SEE THINGS MY WAY ONLY

I FEEL HOPELESS

I CAN HANDLE IT

IF I HIDE BEHIND EVERYONE ELSE’S PROBLEMS, I WON’T HAVE TO FACE MY OWN

I CAN’T DO IT

WHY TRY

THE EVENT: A RETURN TO THE USE OF ALCOHOL AND/OR DRUGS.


The article above was copy and pasted from www.drug-rehabilitation.com.

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Below is a joke that I received from ArcaMax. It show you how you can be in trouble if you're still 'using' or blow your top!

Police Stop
John and Jessica were on their way home from the bar one night and John got pulled over by the police. The officer told John that he was stopped because his tail light was burned out. John said, "I'm very sorry officer, I didn't realize it was out, I'll get it fixed right away."

Just then Jessica said, "I knew this would happen when I told you two days ago to get that light fixed."

So the officer asked for John's license and after looking at it said, "Sir your license has expired."

And again John apologized and mentioned that he didn't realize that it had expired and would take care of it first thing in the morning.

Jessica said, "I told you a week ago that the state sent you a letter telling you that your license had expired."

Well by this time, John is a bit upset with his wife contradicting him in front of the officer, and he said in a rather loud voice, "Jessica, shut your mouth!"

The officer then leaned over toward Jessica and asked. "Does your husband always talk to you like that?"

Jessica replied, "Only when he's drunk."



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6 Comments thus far...

Gwen said...

Great information. Thanks for sharing.

G~

SCoUt said...

Thanks for a good post. Always important to keep these things in mind. And that was a pretty funny joke, too, man!
I know how hard it can be to spend time with family. Wow! My sisters are all very, very wealthy and have graduate degrees, etc. I have done much of the same as them, but since I am "the addict" I am forever the black sheep in their eyes. I understand feeling small.
We are all the same size in the eyes of G-d!
Peace,
Scout

Motorcycle Mike - Sober Biker said...

Your post on relapse reminded me of a great speaker who talks on "Relapse" prevention.

On the site xa-speakers.org there is a speaker named Chris R. from Texas in the CA (cocaine anonymous) group who talks on relapse prevention.

I have it downloaded on my i-pod and listen to it about once every six months.

If you are looking for a good way to avoid strange family members, there is nothing like an hour alone listening to a good speaker...

Keep coming back.. Mike

NMAMFQLMSH said...

Ahhhh my friend......you are not small. I am grateful to be able to come here and read your blog. You are part of my recovery.
JJ

Sober Chick said...

I use to be the Queen at the comparison game. It is so natural for me to compare someone elses status to mine: job, car they drive, are they married, thiner, etc. My perception made me so ill, and so I would go to any lengths to change me. Can you imagine that, me not allowing the natural me to exist. Instead I seeked to measure up by how other people lived.

But oh how different it is today. Sometimes old behaviors are regurgitated, and they seep back in. However we are offered ways to live in the solution. In addition by speaking aloud our fears to others, we learn to walk thru our fears and not allow them to control us.

So thank you for sharing this. I completely understand your experience and enjoy learning how you are processing it all!

Shadow said...

hey! i hope you are okay out there! i just went through all the relapse thingies on my blog... and it was good to compare them with your entry. sounds pretty similar... so they must have a point... stay strong, stay sober, keep on posting!

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